Treated Unfairly, Why?

We are taught to treat people how we want to be treated. We don’t realize we teach people how to treat us. No matter how nice we are, if we accept certain behaviors we must realize we were partially accountable for the outcome. This is a hard pill to swallow, but it is the truth. Next time you get in your feelings about what a person is not doing to or for you ask yourself, “Have I taught this person how to treat me?”

I learned this the hard way. In all fairness I will admit that I am still learning. When I sit back and evaluate my life and relationships I realize the common denominator is me; overly accepting. I speak often about my failed relationships. I talk to women about how I went from a three year relationship to a four year relationship and lastly a five year relationship; all failed. I was cheated on, disrespected, and treated as an option in all three relationships. Looking back I realize I taught all those guys how to treat me by accepting their lies as truths.

Many women leave as soon as a guy cheat or disrespect them. Yet, I had the notion that I could fix a guy. I could help him reach a plateau in his life and in turn he would love me unconditionally. My approach was completely wrong. You can’t save a man or woman that doesn’t want to be saved. As soon as you accept unwanted behavior the behavior is often repeated until you get fed up and leave. The question become how do you teach people to treat you the way you want to be treated?

This seems like a hard question to answer but in actuality it is not. The best way to teach a person how to treat you is by knowing yourself. If you know yourself and what you want and desire you will NOT accept anything less. My problem was I wasn’t sure of what I wanted. I wavered in regards to my desires to appease the other person instead of standing firm. As I got to know myself it became easier to take a stand against unwanted behavior.

In the end, the way a person treats you is a reflection of what you’ve let them get away with or accepted. It is not our job to teach an individual how they should treat others; it is our job to teach them how to treat us. It all stems from loving yourself enough to know when a person is not treating you the way you deserve or want to be treated and having the guts to walk away. It’s all on you!

Until next time! J