Heart Of A Giver

I recently had a conversation with my male best friend. He is always so honest with me, especially when I have woe it’s me moments. I was questioning my giving heart the day we talked. I told him that sometimes I wish I could be more like him. He is no nonsense. If you don’t fit his desires he cut you off quick. I admire that about him sometimes and other times I think it is a bit cold hearted. I am the total opposite. If I see something in a person that I admire I will give from my heart. If I love you there is no limit to the things I’ll do for you. I don’t give expecting to receive I give out of love and the desire to see a person win. That has left me heartbroken more often than I’d like to admit. To the point that l asked God to change my giving heart!

I often found myself standing alone in my storm, which left me bitter and angry at others. I felt I gave so much yet no one ever asked me how I was doing, what I needed, or if things were ok on my end. Even though I gave without expecting anything, so I thought, I quickly realized I did expect something. I expected reciprocation! Not in a material giving way; in a concern way. All I required was concern. That is it; that simple! As I angrily prayed to God he quickly corrected me! I asked for a changed heart but he was not having any of that talk. God let me know quick the blame was not on others for how I felt, the blame was mine. I was silently expecting something that was never conveyed. I immediately got sad after my prayer. It wasn’t everyone around me fault that I stood alone, it was my fault. I never spoke up! I never said I needed support, a call, a hug or anything. I pressed on my own while expecting people to see me sinking and offer a hand. God reminded me that my giving heart was a gift. It was the thing that set me apart from others. It was a treasure like a hidden diamond. He reminded me that with a little polish I would shine. My giving heart would attract an unconditional and unshakable love. My request was not one he would grant.

That day God showed me my shortcomings as well as my gift. I no longer looked at my giving heart as a burden or something I wished I could change. I now looked at it as a wonderful gift that made me special. The one thing God ask from all of us during our time on this earth is to love our fellow man. It is the biggest gift we can give; love. This gift came so easy for me yet I wanted to rid myself of it because of disappointment in others caused by my inability to SPEAK UP! Not everyone has a giving heart. Some don’t even know how to love. So, if you are fortunate enough to have a beautiful heart embrace it! Don’t question why you don’t get what you give. Instead continue to be you, continue to work on yourself, and just like God told me someone will be drawn to that heart you want to change. When that someone come along you won’t have to tell them you need them, they will know you need them. It will be easy to speak up because their spirit will match yours.

I am grateful everyday that God corrects me when my requests are wrong. I will never question how he has built me. Every inch of who I am was created by him. I reflect on who he created me to be. It doesn’t matter what anyone around me says or thinks he has plans for my obedience and faithfulness. I must be ok with the process. You too!

If you are struggling with something about yourself take it to God. He will either assist you or correct you. Just know that God does not make mistakes. Every good part of you reflects God’s love. All he wants from us is to give love. Don’t question a giving heart, it is a gift! GIVE from your heart and you will be blessed.

Happy Holidays!